Do you want a stress free highschool experience? Look no further than the non-profit organization, College Boards AP classes! A completely relaxing and effortless experience with inexpensive tests that have high pass rates and prepare you for the college experience!
College Board is a non-profit organization in America that has a large influence in high school education. They create and administer ACT’s, SAT’s, and AP Exams in the education system. These are easy, loose tests that help boost your confidence!
You get the laid back test taking experience for the low-low price of just $97 per AP Exam! With the high pass rates they have, you’re guaranteed to get some easy college credit. For example, College Board announced that last year’s AP Physics 1 exam had an extremely high pass rate of 45%! If you thought that AP Exams were cheap, the SAT is only $60! It’s basically free!
College Board being a non-profit organization pays their CEO practically pennies, earning 2.5 million dollars a year, as stated by USA Today. This CEO is barely making the poverty line wage, and still is so selfless that he decides to keep operating this non profit organization; what a guy!
Abel Nieto Garcia, an AP student at Golden Valley High School was asked if he would recommend AP classes to students, he stated “Yes of course they’re the easiest classes on campus!” He also said that on a scale of 1-10 “I would rate the relaxation of AP classes a 20 out of 10.”
Timmy Osmand, another AP student at Golden Valley High School questionably said that on a scale of 1 to 10 one being least stressful and ten being most stressful, he would rate it a “six out of ten.” Timmy then went on to say a quite ignorant statement, the tests are “Too expensive; it’s a piece of paper with ink on it.” He concerningly believes that they should be “$25 a test”. What he doesn’t know is that these tests are carefully crafted, and take incredible workmanship to curate into the eloquence that is the AP Tests.
So at the culmination of the conclusive evidence, we must wholeheartedly proclaim that the exuberant College Board is the complete and whole enlightener of education within the high school system and your future, with immaculate preparation for the college experience including; laid back exams, cheap tests, and easily passable classes, Amen.
(Be aware, this is a satirical essay, please take it very seriously.)
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