All is fair in love and war – the two different extremes of the human experience. However, these 

two extremes may perhaps be more similar than perceived. Perhaps love is war. 

Growing up, I never really watched anime. I only started really watching anime during my sophomore year. Two years later, I found Kaguya-sama: Love is War, a rom-com anime I decided to watch over Winter Break. Since it is nearly Valentine’s Day, this is the perfect time to talk about a rom-com. 

 

Love is War centers around two characters – Miyuki Shirogane and Kaguya Shinomiya, who are both high schoolers attending Shuchiin Academy. Shirogane is the president of the student council and is the top student of the academy. He comes from a simple family and he is a hard worker who strives to improve his lifestyle and status.

 

Meanwhile, Shinomiya is the vice president of the student council and comes second (Top 2). In contrast to Shirogane’s background, her family owns one of the most influential, largest business conglomerates in Japan with a net worth of 200 trillion yen (that’s 1.3 trillion USD, for those wondering). With her upbringing, she is a genius similar to Shirogane, as well as being naturally gifted.

 

For someone who binge-watched all three seasons and the movie within a week, retaining the small details was impossible, especially with what is going on with the other characters. However, most of the important details are about the two main characters regardless. 

 

Seasons 1 to 2

Before the series officially begins, the narrator says this: 

“Even among sweethearts, there exists a distinct power relationship! A side that exploits and a side that’s exploited, a side that’s devoted, a side receiving devotion, a winner and a loser! If you’re trying to live a noble life, then you mustn’t become a loser. Love is war! The person who falls in love loses!” 

 

What makes this anime very interesting is that the main characters actually like each other, but they don’t want to confess. As the narrator stated, the entire premise is that Shirogane and Shinomiya try to strategize schemes in order to make the other confess their feelings, and both have their own personal reasons for this. 

 

Similarly, both of them are too prideful to confess to the other and they are afraid of rejection or losing the other’s affection. Whenever Shirogane sees a possible flaw in his strategies, he imagines that Shinomiya looks down on him, saying “how cute” with a mocking tone. Likewise, Shinomiya also does not want to do anything that may lose Shirogane’s fondness towards her. 

 

Their dynamic illustrates how love turns into a battle, a war of pride. Both characters seize every opportunity to strike each other down in order to get a confession, while refusing to be the first to surrender. One episode may end with Shirogane winning, only for Shinomiya to be victorious in the next, creating a constant back and forth on their fictional battlefield of love.  

 

Similar to trench warfare (a bizarre way to compare this, I know), both sides put maximum effort and force in order to gain minimum territory and advantage over the other. In other words, it plays out like any rom-com anime wherein the main love interests practically get nowhere, although that is the main reason for the multiple seasons of rom-com anime.

 

Nevertheless, most people would know by now after watching several rom-coms, both in anime and movies, that the main characters in love will eventually end up together in the end most of the time. With Love is War, it felt like a grueling slow-burn yet it was worth it in the end because the audience goes along with the development of the main characters.

 

Another interesting aspect of the anime is how it uses psychological terms like the Barnum Effect and the Suspension Bridge Effect. The Barnum Effect in psychology is the tendency of an individual to believe that personality descriptions apply to them specifically even though the descriptions are vague. 

 

In the second episode of season one, Shirogane sent Fujiwara – the secretary of the student council – a photo of him as a child through her phone. He did that so he has something to lure Shinomiya with to ask him for his contact information, which is like a confession (somehow). Shinomiya then pulls out the crocodile tears and calls him mean.

 

Now Shinomiya is vague with her statement because calling someone mean is not really specific, but then Shirogane thinks that he was actually mean and concludes himself that he made Shinomiya upset. The Barnum Effect was in play. He shows her the photo, but he realized too late that it was a trap when Shinomiya already saw the photo.

 

The other psychological term is the Suspension Bridge Effect that originated from the Suspension Bridge Study in the 1970s. In this study, male subjects were approached by different women after crossing either one of two bridges – one stable and modern bridge, one unstable and high suspension bridge.

 

The men were told by the women to write a story about an ambiguous and non-sexual image, then the women offered their contact information apparently for follow-up questions on the project. After that, their stories were examined for sexual content. The men who crossed the stable bridge showed little interest in contacting the woman and their stories had less sexual content.

 

Meanwhile, the men who crossed the unstable bridge were showing more interest in the woman and their stories had more sexual content. The study concluded that it was because of adrenaline rush caused by the shaking of the unstable bridge that made the men mistake it with attraction. In short, the fear or anxiety of a crisis – the unstable bridge – gets mixed up with the feeling of being in love. 

 

In the eighth episode of season two, both Shirogane and Shinomiya were at a warehouse when they suddenly got trapped in it; the sliding door got jammed by a tree branch. Both of them cried out and said there is no hope, but of course they were faking it. Both of them thought the other was pulling a Suspension Bridge Effect in order to make them feel scared in the situation which may make them start to feel lovey-dovey. 

 

After a while, the sun is already setting, and they are still trapped in the warehouse and still clueless that they are actually in a crisis. Shirogane expects Shinomiya that she wants him to give her his jacket to keep her warm, but Shinomiya took it a huge step further because she thinks this is when they finally kiss. They sit on a mat, then they both give their subtle hints. 

 

Suddenly, it all clicks: Shinomiya is shocked and convinced that Shirogane will go for a kiss, while Shirogane is equally surprised that Shinomiya actually wants one. They both stand up quickly, only to tumble back down onto the mat. Shirogane ends up on top of Shinomiya at this point. Their emotions are heightened from the situation; Shinomiya closes her eyes and Shirogane leans in closer. But just as things are about to escalate, a student council member opens the warehouse door. They don’t get to kiss. 

 

What makes this anime entertaining is how much these two overanalyze the other’s play, which gives most of their inner monologue a satirical tone with a hint of that sweet lovey-dovey feeling. Moreover, this anime is witty and silly at the same time, and it knows that. The narrator sometimes even comments on the strategies that the two are playing in each episode.

 

On the other hand, from weird occurrences to the dirty jokes, it really brings out the “com” in this rom-com. The anime also always teases the audience, making them stand a bit from their seats (including me), which makes it more entertaining because the audience has the feeling that they are close to the endgame, to Shinomiya and Shirogane getting together.

 

Ultra Romantic

The third season of the anime is when things begin to switch gears. There were two things that happened during the season that added stakes and changed the course of the anime: the Stanford dilemma and the Dual Confession Arc. Watching the climax of the season, it will make the audience feel all giddy.

 

During the season, there was a teacher-parent conference, focusing mainly on the students’ colleges and career paths. Shirogane and his father personally have a meeting with the principal. Shirogane’s applying to Stanford University in the U.S, and requests for a letter of recommendation. Since he is the student council president attending one of the most revered academies in Japan, of course he gets the letter of recommendation and gets into Stanford through early admission.

 

This moment introduces a dilemma. If Shirogane leaves for the U.S, then he would never get Shinomiya’s confession and they would never be together. Since Shinomiya is part of a very wealthy family, she cannot simply follow Shirogane to the U.S since she is an heiress to one of the largest business conglomerates in Japan. 

 

It becomes a now-or-never scenario, especially with the cultural festival approaching. During this festival, Shirogane and Shinomiya spent some time together, luckily without any interruptions, strolling around school grounds to check the attractions created by the students in their classrooms. Afterwards, they both head to the student council room.

 

As Shirogane breaks the news of attending Stanford, Shinomiya feels both shocked and crushed at the same time. Nonetheless, she congratulates him and hides her despair from him by quickly walking out. She quickly comes up with an excuse, saying that she had to prepare for the lighting ceremony of the campfire since she was assigned the task of igniting the campfire with her archery skills.

 

Thus begins the tracks of the Dual Confession Arc. Despite what they have done in the previous two seasons, they could care less about losing since they will both lose anyway if they do not confess their love. Shinomiya plans to confess to Shirogane.

 

At the night of the cultural festival, the lighting of the campfire had begun, but Shirogane was nowhere to be seen. Still bummed by Shirogane’s news, Shinomiya lit the campfire anyway. Suddenly, a flurry of paper begins to fall from the sky, scattering across the ground. It all had the same message: “I’ve come to claim the cultural festival.”

 

 It was written by Arsène, the phantom thief who has been causing mischief throughout the festival. From what started as minor inconveniences, with the phantom thief stealing heart-shaped balloons decorated around the festival, turned to complete chaos as now, he stole the big ball resting on top of the paper mache dragon on the school’s rooftop. Finally, Shinomiya connected the dots.

 

Shirogane was not there during her lighting ceremony, and he knew about that, which was odd.  She realized that Shirogane must be somewhere, and the phantom thief was Shirogane. Arsène was derived from the Greek word for masculine, which was a description that Shirogane associated himself with.

 

As soon as she figured it out, she deduced that Shirogane had to be in a place where he could see all of Shuchiin Academy. The clock tower in the school. She eventually mustered her courage to go on top of the tower, only to find Shirogane waiting. Shirogane tells her he has the most amazing gift to give her: the large ball he had stolen landed on top of the campfire and exploded, revealing all of the stolen heart-shaped balloons inside.

 

The balloons floated in the air and surrounded the clock tower, creating one of the most romantic scenes in the entire series. The cultural festival was Shirogane’s magnum opus. He was the one who wanted a campfire, which he sent two student council members to suggest and make it happen. He was the one who made the paper mache dragon, including the big ball as well.

 

Moreover, he made sure that no one would interfere with his day with Shinomiya, so he ensured that there were a lot of attractions to distract the other student council members, the ones who were interfering the most. He even created the Arsène persona in order to distract Fujiwara – the unpredictable element of chaos – in a fake chase by leaving out the messages and the mystery for her to solve. 

 

With the cultural festival’s theme on love, he was able to steal the heart-shaped balloons without anyone noticing. By the end, he set up the romantic scene with all the balloons flying around them while they were on the clock tower, the place closest to the night sky and the stars. Following all of that, Shirogane then asked Shinomiya to come with him to the U.S.

 

Of course Shinomiya wanted to go with Shirogane. She has to plan things out though, especially with a way to talk to her father about studying abroad. With the atmosphere of the moment, Shinomiya asked for a reward from Shirogane. He agreed to this as long as it was within his ability. Shinomiya stepped closer and closer to Shirogane, cupping his face with her hands.

 

Finally, after three seasons of tension and anticipation, they kissed. It was a moment so electric that felt like witnessing a game changing touchdown during the Super Bowl. This marked the end of the cultural festival along with the Dual Confession Arc. Both of them confessed their feelings for one another, although Shirogane’s was more indirect with the whole grand gesture and Shinomiya was more than direct with her kiss.

 

The First Kiss That Never Ends

The movie takes place directly after the events of the season three finale. On a quick note, in the opening of the movie, a hand with a wedding ring appears to close a book titled “Memory” by the end of the opening. The hand had polished nails and a rhinestone on the ring finger’s nail. The hand looked similar. 

 

In the sixth episode of the first season, Shinomiya had her nails done through the suggestion of her personal assistant – Hayasaka. In an attempt to get Shirogane to compliment her, her nails were polished and each ring finger had a rhinestone. The opening of the movie was basically suggesting that Shinomiya and Shirogane got married in the end, which is just very sweet that it can make one feel all lovey-dovey.

 

To start, Shinomiya was in absolute bliss when she finally kissed Shirogane and she told Hayasaka about it. She explained how she kissed him, and it involved the tongue (french style). Shinomiya’s first kiss was a more mature, more passionate kiss. She learned this after witnessing a couple french kissing by accident. Shinomiya did explain that she learned from the girl of the couple that one would only passionately kiss someone like that if they are in love with them. 

 

Honestly, it really is not a big deal as Hayasaka, who got shocked by the information, made it. Shinomiya loves Shirogane, and making their first kiss very passionate just shows the amount of buildup finally paying off (especially if it was in the waiting for three whole seasons), although a french kiss being the first kiss one would receive from another is a shock yet perhaps a bit euphoric.

 

Nevertheless, Shinomiya snaps out of her blissful mode and starts to dread the fact she does not know how she will see or talk to Shirogane after she kissed him with tongue. On the other end, Shirogane doesn’t know how to feel. They finally kissed, but he doesn’t know what position that puts them in. He knew that the kiss was intense, so he assumed that they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

The next day, Shirogane waited for Shinomiya in order to communicate with her where their relationship stands. To his surprise, Shinomiya was a little different when she arrived in the student council room. Shinomiya was seen as a little and cute child. It was Little Kaguya. Shinomiya did not magically transform into a child because in reality she looked like she did not have a thought on her mind. Shinomiya became Little Kaguya because of her happiness, denial, and sleep deprivation.

 

After her kiss with Shirogane, she was the happiest girl in the world. After she realized she kissed Shirogane a bit too passionately, she was in denial that she actually did it. With the thought of meeting Shirogane after their kiss, she got little to no sleep. Combining all of those factors, Shinomiya mentally transformed into Little Kaguya.

 

It is really adorable how Little Kaguya looks because she is a bubbly character who is just a sweetheart and does not really know what’s going on (like a 3-year-old). After a while, Shinomiya fell asleep on a couch. Inside of her mind, however, a battle ensued. All of Shinomiya’s personas were in a courtroom, and Little Kaguya was on the stand.

 

The prosecutor, Ice Kaguya, started to charge Little Kaguya for breaking their personal code, including how she was foolishly babbling to Shirogane. The judge, Shinomiya as a child, began to call for order. There were three matters they needed to discuss: they needed to determine their relationship with Shirogane, find out if they are going abroad with him, and discuss what the first kiss meant. 

 

First, they agreed that their relationship thus far with Shirogane is more-than-friends-and-less-than-lovers. Secondly, although Ice Kaguya was poking holes in the plan, Shinomiya will go to the U.S with Shirogane. Lastly, they needed to know what the first kiss actually means. However, Ice Kaguya started an argument. 

 

She criticizes how Shinomiya stole the kiss from Shirogane when it should have been the guy who should have stolen the kiss from the girl. Little Kaguya comments that Ice Kaguya is being negative about the situation because she does not love Shirogane, which made Ice Kaguya snap at them. She reminds them that she was the first one to fall in love.

 

Ice Kaguya says that she has been holding back for a long time, while the other personas were freely together with Shirogane. She then gives the ultimatum that she will make Shirogane kiss her. In a fit of rage, she knocks out Little Kaguya by throwing the gavel of the judge at her. The courtroom begins to fade away, and Ice Kaguya resumes control.

 

It is a very creative approach on how the anime depicted Shinomiya’s internal struggles as a near-to-professional court hearing, since Shinomiya has her own personal code and sometimes thinks practically. However, it also reveals a dark side to Shinomiya. With her being part of a very wealthy family, she has had an extremely strict and messed up upbringing. 

 

Firstly, she was taught at a young age that she should avoid being emotional. She was not allowed to cry to prevent her emotions from taking over. Secondly, she was told to always take things seriously. If she was not taking things seriously enough, she would get hit on the back of her hands.

 

When she started to attend school, Shinomiya reflected the teachings she received on others. She would tell her friend to take things more seriously, even though the friend was already trying her best, and it is sad because she does not really mean, or want, to become this person who keeps on pushing others without regard to their feelings.

 

As she grew older, Shinomiya distanced herself from others because she felt that people did not like her and she did not want to hurt people. Although she was living in solitude for a while, she found bitter peace that she is at least not harming people. She was isolated from society for quite a long time, but she had always kept her feelings to herself.

 

Shinomiya was forced to put on masks, different personas, because of her family upbringing that had such high standards due to their social status as one of the largest conglomerates in Japan.  However, Shinomiya slowly changes when she finds someone she could fall in love with – Shirogane.

 

She slowly starts to change, which essentially means that she was slowly starting to hide her ugly side – the Ice Kaguya persona – when she acknowledged Shirogane as someone she loves. Nonetheless, no matter how hard she tried, her ugly side came back to the surface. As Shinomiya woke up, she became Ice Kaguya and began to make Shirogane miserable.

 

Ice Kaguya has this cold aura around her, and she has a sharp tongue. As Shirogane said they may be boyfriend and girlfriend, Ice Kaguya shot him down by replying that the kiss did not make them like that. In fact, she stated that she only kissed Shirogane because she was in the mood. All of this though was a twisted ploy to make Shirogane kiss her.

 

Not only is Ice Kaguya distant and has a sharp tongue, but she is selfish and she takes what she wants by any means she can. After these back-and-forth games, Shirogane begins to be mentally exhausted. The bags under his eyes grow bigger and he grows more anxious as he starts to believe that Shinomiya hates him.

 

On one occasion, when no other student council members were present, Ice Kaguya corners Shirogane to kiss her. She grabs hold of his hands as she hints for him to kiss her. After finally acquiring the courage, he leans forward but suddenly collapses on the floor. The movie transitions to a hospital room where Shirogane lays on a bed while Shinomiya is by his side.

 

After realizing what she had done, in Shinomiya’s mind, Ice Kaguya pleads with Little Kaguya to make a switch. Ice Kaguya says that people get seriously hurt whenever they are closer to her. With her harming the person she loves, it creates a hole in her heart. As she starts to break down and cry, Ice Kaguya accepts that she can never be liked, especially by Shirogane who dislikes people who hurt others.

 

Despite her plea, Little Kaguya refuses to switch because she wants Ice Kaguya to fulfill her wish of getting a kiss from Shirogane. Even Shinomiya herself agrees with Little Kaguya because if Ice Kaguya receives this kiss, then they would be very much happy. This creative metaphor is about how Shinomiya is starting to accept all parts of herself.

 

Similarly, Shirogane is starting to have the same idea as Shinomiya. The doctor says that Shirogane is only lovesick. Finding this absurd, Shirogane refuses to believe the doctor. The doctor states that he is sleep deprived because he has been thinking of someone he loves, as well as blacking out from the pressure of a kiss.

 

The doctor also mentions how Shirogane is pushing himself way too hard, and how he may be bottling up feelings. After a while, Shirogane talks about his mother. He mentions that as a child he failed the entrance exams of schools that his mother wanted him to attend. He desperately tried to pass, but he would fail. Afterwards, the mother left the family behind. 

 

Despite his mother already leaving, Shirogane felt that his mother would come back if he pushed himself to the maximum in his studies. Like Shinomiya, Shirogane also has traumatic issues with his own family upbringings that he may have misinterpreted as his own fault, since his mother left him as a child.

 

Since the beginning of the anime, the audience has seen Shirogane’s flaws: he is terrible at sports, singing, and dancing. Although he overcame all of that (thanks to Fujiwara mentoring him), he did not show it to one person – Shinomiya. He did not show his ugly side of being someone who sometimes can’t do anything, a failure, to Shinomiya.

 

Likewise, Shinomiya did not show her ugly side of being someone who hurts others to Shirogane. Besides their similar reasons of pride and fear of rejection, they both have a specific reason as to why they have not confessed yet.

 

For Shirogane, he wanted Shinomiya to confess to him because he wanted to be seen as her equal. By continuing to carry the perfect student persona, and due to his simple family background, he longed for Shinomiya to acknowledge him as someone she can respect and consider an equal.

 

On the other hand, Shinomiya wanted Shirogane to confess first because she wanted to validate his feelings towards her. For someone who has hurt people in the past, she was afraid of hurting people and driving them away, especially with Shirogane. He does not like people who hurt or look down on others, which she accepts as something she has done before. 

 

These two look down on themselves for having these ugly flaws, hence they have not fully shown themselves to the other person. Essentially, the movie centers around the two of them learning self-acceptance and embracing each other’s ugly side that they have not shown to the other.

 

Moving forward, close to the end, Shirogane and Shinomiya go to a Christmas party at Fujiwara’s residence during Christmas Eve. They all eat some food and exchange gifts. After the party, when everybody is already sleeping, Shirogane and Shinomiya step outside. 

 

Shinomiya surprises Shirogane with a gift since they did not draw each other in the exchange gift. Shinomiya then asks Shirogane if he has a gift for her, which he does. As he is taking the gift out, he suddenly stops. He backs away from revealing his flaws to Shinomiya. He explains that he bought the gift at the last minute, but Shinomiya insists that it is fine.

 

This results in a chase wherein Shirogane persists in hiding his other side while Shinomiya is attempting to get the gift, to get Shirogane to open his ugly side to her. The chase ends in the park, but Shirogane still does not want to give the gift. Shinomiya then bursts out that she has shown her hidden side to him, so it is fair that Shirogane should show his hidden side as well.

 

Shirogane argues that it is not fair to begin with, because he actually likes her hidden, ugly side. At the beginning, he thought Shinomiya was looking down on people, but he realized soon that she was actually isolating herself from others to avoid hurting them. He found that admirable. He then goes on about how she might become disillusioned after he reveals his ugly side.

 

Nonetheless, Shinomiya still insists and they have a tug-of-war with the gift. The wrapping rips and Shinomiya finally sees the gift, a cup-and-ball toy. The toy has no connection to Kaguya at all, so Shirogane is embarrassed that he gave her a failed gift. However, Shinomiya’s interest in Shirogane does not wave.

 

They both sit down on a bench to reflect on what had just happened. The scene in the park is a huge contrast to the scene in the clock tower. It goes from glamorous and grand to unexciting and simple. However, Shinomiya does not mind it at all because she finds the ordinary romantic. 

 

Although she does greatly appreciate Shirogane’s magnum opus of a cultural festival, Shinomiya does not want to see the person she loves push himself so much that it worries her. Shinomiya did say before the tug-of-war that the most romantic thing is that there is nothing to hide between her and the person she loves. 

 

Later a bit, Shinomiya asks what couples ordinarily do during Christmas Eve. Under the starless night with a half moon, Shirogane answers by leaning forward, bringing her face closer to his, and kissing her. The kiss is ordinary (no more French style), but Shinomiya’s heart still beats the same way it did during the cultural festival. 

 

The couple now truly see and understand each other. After three seasons and a movie, they’re finally together for real. As Shirogane walks Shinomiya to her home, she asks him on a date during their Winter Break. He agrees to come, and they spend the whole day together.

 

While they are on their date, Shirogane’s father says this: 

“It is a blessing to be able to love someone so much that it turns your brain into mush. And it’s only natural to want to be in a relationship with the one you love. Freaking out that you might get dumped. . . playing little games. . . you’ll come up with all kinds of plans and hold out for the perfect timing. . . but your heart will be pounding, and nothing will make sense anymore. When it starts looking like the day will end before you can say those words. . . you might find yourself blurting it out.” 

 

As people, we want the person that we love to accept us as we are. We may try to hide our traits that the other person may find unlikeable, but one can only hide it for so long until it inevitably starts to surface back up. No matter how much planning one makes to orchestrate a perfect confession, there is no better time to confess than now because the heart is already screaming for love.

 

As the day nearly ends, Shinomiya and Shirogane stop on a pier next to the ocean. Then Shinomiya blurts out the following words: “I’m in love with you. Please be my boyfriend.” In the end, Shirogane accepts and they both kiss.

 

As that is happening, the narrator ends the movie with this:

 

“You fall in love, confess, and become a couple. Anyone would agree that’s a wonderful thing. But that notion is wrong. Love is only blissful until it’s attained. After your feelings reach certain heights, it’s all downhill from there. That is what true love really is. Beyond love, there are no victors or losers. There’s no telling if that person is your soul mate or not. There might not even be eternal love. But. . . true love just might exist. One just needs to have a sharp mind. To seek true love, you must think. This is no easy task. Even so, it is only those who continue to use their minds. . . who can be the first in the world to attain true love.”